Vintage Lies

VINTAGE LIES By Christine Wichman c. Nov. 2017

Just like Mother Nature, Grandma Gem ruled every storm that came her way, every blow, every hard knock. In fact, she just plain ruled everything. Ever since Remy could remember her Grandmother was the epitome of an unwavering matriarch with her cascade of loose grey curls billowing as she moved about life like a thundering Siren.

She was up at dawn cooking, canning or baking, and awake long past midnight cleaning, sorting and tidying. She was a doer and a maker, a mover and a shaker.

Raising and ruling her own son and daughter right out of the country. Uncle Josh joined the army at eighteen, and was stationed overseas. He met and married a girl in Germany and never looked back, he’s lived all over the world only to return for the occasional Holiday or Funeral. Remy’s mother Windy fled to Bermuda with the first man she met after Remy and her twin brother were born. Their father was a married man, who wanted nothing to do with them, so Gemma Strong and her husband Earl were given the honor of raising up another boy and girl. This time Gemma was going to get it right, so she left no stone unturned when it came to over protecting Remy and Charles.

Earl did his best to loosen the reigns now and again, “Kids need to have fun, Woman, ya can’t keep ‘em caged up and sheltered, there’s a great big world out there just waitin’ to swallow ‘em up.”

Grandma Gem vehemently disagreed, she kept tabs and tracked their every move, long before the technology of cell phones, or GPS devices were invented, she used her good old “Woman’s intuition” and kept those kids accounted for.

“I’m not losing these two, these two are stayin’ put. When was the last time you heard from your son, the one you took fishin’ every Saturday and to the Matinee on Tuesday. Where is he now Earl?”

Earl averted her eyes and switched the T.V. station from his easy chair. Gem shot back a knowing glance and dramatically pushed open the swinging door into the kitchen.

Besides ruling the roost, Grandma Gem wore all the hats, Room Mother, Girl Scout Leader, Church Lady, Den Mother, you name it, if there was something to volunteer for, she was the first in line. *******************

Flash forward to the fall of 1990, twenty-six years later, Charles not only went the way of his Uncle, but actually ended up a casualty of the Gulf War. Remy was in England when it happened, off realizing her dream as a student abroad. When she got the call from her Grandfather he told her Gemma wasn’t taking it well and that she needed all the family she could get. She remembered his low crackling voice, fighting for strength as he spoke, “We called your Mom, and we called Josh. They are flying in for the service, but not much else. We sure could use you here at home, Kiddo.”

Remy knew this was the end of her dream, that she owed Gemma and Earl everything and would not hesitate to move back home and be there for them.
“Of course Grandpa. I love you.”

He was crying now, a low sickening sob, and then a pause until he could muster, “We’re waiting for you…we need you with us.”

“I’ll get the next flight, it’s going to be okay Grandpa, just hang on okay.” “Okay,” he whispered and hung up the phone.

Remy hung up the communal phone, and picked up her stack of leather bound books from the floor of the Porter’s lodge, she remembered the sympathetic smile the Head Porter gave her and how she suddenly felt out of her own body, no feeling at all, only a few senses kicking in, sounds and smells, she could hear street traffic and the hum of the river as she walked back to her room, and there was an overwhelming scent of peat smoke and decay coming from a nearby field.

“It’s all going to be okay…” she repeated in her mind, “It’s going to be okay, we are going to be okay.”

There was a haunting feeling as Remy walked into the old house. It was eerily quiet. “Hello? Grandma? Grandpa?” Remy set her suitcase down and walked across the creaky floorboards toward her Grandmother’s room. When she opened the door, she saw Grandma Gem slumped over in her rocking chair, she held her breath.

“Oh my God, she’s not dead is she?” With all the force of a great typhoon Gemma sucked in the air around her and let out a thunderous snore. “Thank God,” Remy whispered under her breath, she then slowly shut the door to allow Gem the rest she needed, she was sure her Grandmother had been sleepless since the news came.

Remy was all cried out, it was the worst last twenty-four hours of her life, the flight attendants were kind enough to secure her a seat in the far back of the plane where she could separate herself from onlookers. She selected the saddest movie she could find and hoped the other passengers would conclude that was the cause of her tears.

Remy and Charles were always close, it was a typical love/hate relationship, sibling rivalry and cruel teasing just came with the territory. But for some reason when her brother chose the military Remy knew they were never going to be the same. She was proud of him of course, but she also knew it would change him, it would change “them” but she never thought it would kill him. The idea was so unspeakable, even now, she was not allowing herself to believe it was true.

She walked through the house in a daze, looking at the mantel she picked up a tiny framed photo of herself at six, in her sailor dress. She knew Charles was in the next frame over, in his sailor suit with a similar serious smile. She couldn’t look at his photo. She didn’t want to cry again. She didn’t ever want to cry like that again.

Suddenly she was startled by something brushing her leg, the nudge was followed by a soft meow. Remy looked down to find her black cat, Pearl welcoming her home. As soon as she scooped up her old friend and kissed her furry forehead the tears just poured. She clung to the cat and sobbed.

“Remy?” an unfamiliar voice beckoned from the front door. When Remy turned she saw a stranger who looked a little too much like herself. It was Windy Rae Strong in the flesh, no longer a ghost that haunted her past, she was finally here to face and embrace, as the mother she never knew.

Windy dropped her bag on the sofa and ran toward Remy, “Oh honey, I’m so so sorry.” Remy held tightly to the cat and used her as a shield. Windy sensed the awkwardness and put her hand on Remy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry about your brother, and I am so sorry this is how we have to meet.”

Remy wiped at her eyes with her elbow and let out a staccato sigh as she tried to control her emotions. She then collapsed into her Grandfather’s recliner still holding the cat, trying to speak. “I’m sorry too,” was all she could say.

When Windy spoke her voice was but a whisper, “I know you don’t know me from Adam, Remy, and I also know whatever Grandma has told you about me, is most likely a bunch of made up stories, of course, this isn’t the time or place to go into that woman’s vintage lies, so I will spare you any more heartache and just tell you one absolute truth. I love you Remy. I honestly do, and I always have. When you are ready, I will be here for you. But right now, you have a brother to bury and I have a son to absolve my sins over.”

Remy held back the last of her sobs and placed the cat on the floor, in a slow but graceful motion she rose from the chair and hugged her mother for dear life, her white blonde hair meshed perfectly with Windy’s, you couldn’t tell one strand from the other, they were so alike in length and color. It would not have been such a striking fact, they were related after all, however both were natural brunettes and had chosen this color unwittingly, never having seen the other till now.

Grandpa Earl was standing in the doorway witnessing something he thought he would never live to see. He cleared his throat and set down a small bag of groceries. “Sorry I wasn’t here to greet ya, Grandma needed some things from the store.”

Windy turned to look at her father, saddened to lose hold of Remy as she broke away to hug Earl. “I missed you so much Grandpa,” she whispered into the side of his white beard, “are you okay?”

Earl melted, “Sure, Kiddo. We missed you too.” Windy was awkward again. “Hello Dad.”

“Good to see you. We appreciate you coming all this way. Can I get you two something to drink?” Earl was moving into the kitchen.

“I don’t drink anything heavier than water these days, so I’m fine.” called Windy. Earl was silent.

Remy had followed him into the kitchen.

“I can get it myself Grandpa, you go sit down and talk to her, I am sure you have plenty to talk about, before Grandma wakes up.”

Earl looked hesitant, but complied.

The kitchen door swung behind him as he approached Windy, standing by the fireplace. “Got a hug for your old man?”

“Of course, Dad,” Windy hugged him tightly, knowing their estrangement was not his fault. “Thank you,” she sighed, “For letting me be here now.”

“He’s your boy, you should be here.”

Windy looked down at the tattered grey carpet, ‘Her boy,’ sounded so strange to her, it was all so strange, she never knew these two souls but had always felt their presence in her heart.

“I love you Daddy,” Windy hugged Earl again.

“After all this time?”

“Always,” she smiled

Earl shot back a smile that put the past to rest and set a new bond in motion.
“Sit down, sit down,” Earl motioned his daughter toward the old red sofa. “We were expecting you this morning. What happened, did ya have trouble gettin’ out here?”

Windy laughed, “It was a disaster! I missed my first flight because the taxi got a flat tire and the driver had no spare. He was on island time, and decided to hitch a ride back to town, leaving me to face the threat of Hurricane Lili alone by the side of the road. Finally a bus came along so I took it to the airport, but then the hurricane warnings held us up, we had to wait to see which direction she was going to take.”

“I don’t think I could live where they have hurricanes, stormy weather just doesn’t suit me.”

“Earrllll” Gemma’s howling voice echoed down the hallway, “Earrllll??” “Coming Hon.”
**************

Charles’ Saturday funeral was followed by a Requiem mass on Sunday, leave it to Gemma to plan out a long dramatic farewell. She had always been a dramatic Catholic, likening herself to the martyrs in both her daily life and her role in the church.

Remy’s uncle Josh made a brief appearance sans his wife Birgit, and booked himself at an Inn the next town over. Only Windy was making attempts at amends it appeared. Grandpa Earl seemed quietly hurt over the quickness of Josh’s stay, while Grandma Gem continued to punish Windy for the length of hers.

Remy had to witness them bickering all week. It seemed Gemma was the one constantly digging up old wounds, but Remy had no grounds to mediate so she took to her room. There she found solace in her diary and the moon.

Dear Diary,
The past seven days feel like seven years. I am an anchor in cement here. Not to mention a mere pawn in their game. Windy seems to want something from me, and out of loyalty to Grandma Gem I cannot give her what she wants. I have some guilt about that. I have guilt about everything. I just want to sail away on a ship of fools, wayward bound until my ship wrecks on a tiny island all my own… I don’t want to be a Pirate or anything, but maybe a Siren, or the Queen of Sirens commanding the entire Sea.

(the pen falls to the page, as Remy drifts into a dream…)

Remy’s lying on a bed of moss her arms wrapped around the moon. A tall shadowy figure hovers whispering her name.

“Remy come on I have to show you something.”

When she opens her eyes her heart leaps and all is well in her world. There stands her brother in the dress uniform they buried him in, “Charles, Oh my God. Thank God you are still here.”

“C’mon Remy follow me…” She watched him fade behind the trees, what is wrong with his voice she thought, his deep resonance is gone, his voice is so thin.

“Remmmyyy!” nothing but a whisper.

“Remy look at the Magical Colors,” Charles was laughing, giddy like a child again, he stumbled as he ran through the meadow of luminescent lilies and spirals of golden mushrooms.

“Is this some kind of Haunted Wonderland?” Remy called after him. Looking down she noticed she had lost her shoes, and was now wearing Alice’s blue dress. She touched the soft material and knew this was not a dream, it was too real. Her senses were more alive than they had ever been. She could smell the heady scent of roses in the distance, and hear the soft buzz of bees and hummingbirds. She felt as if she were falling into another dimension.

Suddenly her body was light and her mind felt like it was floating too.

“Remy,” Charles whispered, “Don’t let go of my hand. There are strange things here, things you might not understand.”

“Do you understand them Charles?”
“I understand everything now, that is why I brought you here.”

Remy felt the soft wet grass cushioning her feet as she ran with Charles toward a shimmer of white twinkle lights. “Where are we going Charles?”

“You’ll see. You’re going to love it!”

Suddenly the twinkling lights ahead began to form a long, narrow, gyrating tunnel. Things became a bit topsy-turvy as Remy followed Charles through to the other side. Charles turned and smiled, dropping his sister’s hand, he led her down a dark spiral staircase.

Finally, they came to a black room with red velvet booths, and a long fanciful bar made of ebony and mirrors. Behind the bar was a very Witchy looking woman. She had long salt and pepper hair and fine features, her skin was smooth and youthful but her eyes were deep and wise.

“This is the Grand Mother, Remy, she is my guide here.”

The Grand Mother nodded toward Remy, while pouring a blood red libation into a tall Martini glass. She slid the concoction toward Remy.

“What is this?” Remy watched as the liquid bubbled like a potion and small swirls of dry ice rose from the center.

Charles laughed like a boy again, “Just drink it Stupid.”
Remy took one sip, then another. It was delicious. It did not taste alcoholic at all, it tasted like a refreshing fruit, but she couldn’t quite identify it. Was it Pomegranate? Raspberry? Perhaps it was Candy floss? Or just sweet water?

“Do you like it?” smiled the woman, “It will bring things back to you.”

“What things?” Remy was beginning to feel strange, she also noticed the blue dress had become a long black velvet gown and she was wearing a pair of black satin ballet shoes.

“Every Thing,” Charles whispered, “Every last thing you need to know to go back.” “Go back where?”

Dizziness set in, as Remy felt herself spinning, dancing, twirling, moving in ceaseless circles like a ballerina in the dark.

“She asks a lot of questions,” Charles informed his guide.
“Well doesn’t she know curiosity killed the bat?” cackled the Grand Mother.

In the fade to black, Remy felt herself float right out of her body into a celestial realm of stars and darkness. She was awash with calm and knowledge. In that moment her Father’s voice began to speak to her, “Do not worry my child, I am Gideon, we are your brother’s keepers here, your true family. All will be well, all is okay.”

Remy stirred in the darkness, her pillow full of drool and heat. She opened her eyes and flipped it over to the fresh side. Alarmed by the depths of the world from which she was only half removed. She stared at the ceiling and realized she was still holding onto every last detail.

Quickly she turned on the light and began to write furiously in her diary…

*I saw Charles tonight, his guide is called The Grand Mother. I heard my father’s voice, and I know he loves us. I know everything is going to be okay….

When she finished recounting the adventure, she could not go back to sleep, so she crept downstairs in the dark to make herself some tea and french toast. After taking a match to the instant fire log Remy settled into the big chair in front of the fireplace to eat her midnight snack. Pearl hopped up beside her and waved her furry paw, insisting she share a bite. Remy broke off a piece of the sweet crust and gave it to Pearl. Then silently she stared into the fire allowing her mind to wander back to the dream.

She felt a light hand on her shoulder, looking up, she expected to see her Grandma Gem, but instead it was her Mother, Windy Rae in a long flowing black robe.

“You can’t sleep either,” she whispered sitting down in the chair opposite her. “I had a pretty trippy dream,” Remy confessed.
“Was Charles in it?”
“Oh yes, he was definitely there, and Gideon too.”

“Gideon? I didn’t know you knew your Father’s name.” Windy looked shocked, Gemma had sworn her to secrecy about the twins father or anything at all to do with him.

“Well I didn’t know until my dream.” Windy was speechless, yet intrigued.

“I had a dream about Charles and your Father two nights ago,” Windy began, “Gideon died a year after you two were born. Did Grandma Gem ever mention that?”

Remy shook her head, while taking her tea from the side table.

“Well I think you should know the truth.” Windy continued quietly, “We were in love and I know if he were not already married, we might have been together, but I was a mess Remy, I was drinking and depressed, and he was in a bad marriage with no escape. He drank too, and in the end that is what killed him. When Gideon died, my drinking turned to drugs and Grandma Gem wanted to send me to an institution. I ran away with my drug dealer and ended up in Bermuda. It took me five years to leave him and another five years to get straight. By then Grandma Gem had written me off, she wouldn’t answer any of my letters and she changed their phone number.”

“Oh my God,” Remy whispered in disbelief.

“So I let another five years pass before I attempted to come home and make amends in person. By then you and your brother were sixteen. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Windy’s voice started to fill with emotion, “When Grandma Gem opened the door, she looked me in the eye and told me I was not her daughter anymore, she said she had two good kids to raise now and that I was not welcome in this house.”

“What did Grandpa say?”

“He wasn’t home, and you and Charles were at school. So I made my way back to Bermuda and tried to forget about all of you. I started drinking again for awhile, but now I am nearly three years sober. Well except in that dream I had the other night,” she laughed.

“What was your dream about?” Remy was eager to compare notes.

“Well I saw your brother first, still in his uniform,” Windy spoke solemnly “He actually hugged me, and I felt it with every cell of my body. God I wished I had been able to hug him in real life,” she began to get emotional again.

“He was wearing his uniform in my dream too.” Remy stroked the cat in her lap as she spoke.

Windy laughed, “He actually took me to a bar in my dream, and all I was thinking is I can’t drink, I shouldn’t drink this…but then…”

“Wait, was it down a black spiral staircase and were there red velvet booths?” suddenly Remy’s heart was racing.

“Oh my God, yes!” Windy leaned in closer, “Was there a woman pouring the drink who looked like a Witch?”

In unison they said her name, “The Grand Mother.” “Holy shit!!!” Windy was in shock.

Just then the lights flashed on to reveal Grandma Gem, in her flannel nightgown, glaring at them from the bottom of the stairs. “Well isn’t this a nice little party. Do you two know what time it is?”

“Sorry Grandma Gem,” Remy was quick to apologize for both of them. Windy remained silent.

Gem stepped into the living room and swiftly picked Pearl up from the chair, “Damn Cat should be outside, not eating on my good chair.” she then marched across the room with the yowling creature, unlocked the front door and pushed open the squeaky screen dropping Pearl on to the porch. The screen door slammed with a bang.

Grandma Gem turned to Remy, ignoring Windy completely and said, “I’m going back to bed and I suggest you do the same.”

Windy’s eyes followed her Mother’s commanding form up the stairs until she disappeared into the hallway. “I have an idea.”

“An idea?” Remy was confused.

“I have a little bit of metaphysical knowledge, you could say I’ve read up on the subject. I think I know how we can see Charles and Gideon again.”

Remy leaned in, very interested to hear more, “You mean both of us? At the same time?”

“Mmmhmm, both of us at the same time.” Windy walked over to Earl’s liquor cabinet and removed a green tincture bottle, “all we have to do is drink this, and concentrate on that room before we go back to sleep and with all of our heart request the return of their presence.”

“Isn’t that Grandpa’s Wormwood?”

“I think so. Do you want to try it?”

“Right now?”

“Sure,” Windy looked at her watch, it was only 1 am. “We have plenty of time until Morning. I will go back to my room, you go back to yours. Just try to fall asleep like you normally would, only focus really hard on the place Charles took you.”

“But wait, you said Gideon was in your dream too, did you see him or just hear him?”

“Oh I was definitely with him. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.” Windy’s eyes were suddenly shining with the memory, “It was like there had been no time between us, we were our true selves again.”

Remy smiled. “Okay let’s do it, let’s go back.”

Windy took a sip straight from the green bottle and passed it over to Remy. Remy looked at Windy as she gulped down a larger dose.

When Remy opened her eyes she found herself sleeping on a railroad track. She was all alone wearing blue again and covered with a blue blanket. She had her own drool stained pillow beneath her head and a note she could feel pinned to the other side. At first glance it resembled a strange scrawl of argle-bargle, then she focused to see that it read;

Follow the Tracks South, We will meet you beyond the trees

Remy always had a very bad sense of direction, but she did know that the sun rose in the east and set in the west. If right now were morning the Sun was coming up from the left of the tracks, so that would mean South was behind her?

She was still confused but set out in that direction hoping for the best. She did not have to walk far before the tracks turned to dirt and meadow grass, it was the same technicolor meadow Charles led her through before. She heard the buzz of bees and took it as a good sign. When she looked farther ahead she could see a patch of familiar trees in the distance, she began to run toward them. Just then Charles ran out from the grove, still in uniform and smiling from ear to ear.

“You came back! Remy! I thought I was never going to see you again!”

They ran into an embrace and let the lightness take them over, Charles lifted his sister up and spun her around as they hugged. When he released her back to the ground, he was suddenly sullen, “Wait, you didn’t die did you?”

Remy laughed, “No, no I am only dreaming all of this. You are the one who died remember?”

“Oh okay, well how did you find me again?” “The note on my pillow…”
“What note? I didn’t leave you a note.”

*****************
“We left the note,” a tall handsome man with greying hair in a navy three piece suit emerged from the trees holding the hand of the Grand Mother, she in a hooded blue black velvet cape, long salt and pepper tresses flowing.

“I am Gideon, and this is my Mother, Ursula. She has been your Guardian Angel and guide since you both were born.”

Ursula spoke. “I am the Grand Mother that has kept you out of harm’s way all this time, My feathers, they fall all around you, they show you the way to go.”

Just then they heard another voice calling, “Wait for me, I’m coming.”

When they looked around they could not see anyone, but Remy knew it was Windy’s voice.

“That is our Mother,” before she could finish Charles started to run toward the voice.

“Mother? Mother come join us so we can be a family again.”

Charles embraced Windy for dear life, and they could not stop smiling. “I’m so glad you came back too.”

Remy stepped back to witness Gideon approach her Mother, she could not only see the love in his eyes, she could feel it radiating through her entire being. Windy embraced Gideon along with Charles and The Grand Mother nudged Remy to join the group hug, “Go on Dear, they’ve been waiting for you.”

Remy had tears of joy streaming down her face as she held onto all of them for the first time.

“Now we are all together again,” Windy sighed, “And it’s forever this time.”

“Forever?” Remy was confused, “You mean, I won’t be waking up from this dream?”

Windy squeezed her daughter’s hand and shook her head.

Charles looked over to Remy, exuding such happiness at the thought of a permanent reunion. Of course Remy was overjoyed and caught up in the moment as well, but still she worried about Gemma and Earl.

“This will be so hard on Grandma Gem and Grandpa Earl,” she whispered. “Can I go back and say Good Bye?”

Her family members looked at one another and understood Remy’s attachment, but did not share the same emotion, they were now living in a new consciousness a new awareness of something bigger and more vast.

Finally the Grand Mother spoke, “My Dear that is your choice. Right now your earthly body is between planes, if you choose to stay with Gemma and Earl you shall simply wake up. If you choose eternity with us now, your spirit shall fly beyond the lines in the sky and through the last starlit night.”

Remy was torn.

“Earl! Earlllll!!! Come quick!” Gem was in hysterics.
Earl looked at the bedside clock, it was five am, on a Saturday, usually Gem let him sleep in till seven. “What on earth is goin’ on,” Earl mumbled crawling out of bed as fast as he could.

“Oh my God!” Gemma’s cries were coming from Remy’s room.
Earl stepped into the doorway to see Gemma’s face hovering over Remy’s sleeping form, “She won’t wake up Earl, she won’t wake up…” Gemma’s tears were falling from her own cheek creases to the creases in Remy’s pillow. “Remy, oh Remy….please wake up.”

Earl saw the green bottle of Wormwood on the bedside table, it was set a top Remy’s Diary and a brown paper note. Quietly and instinctively Earl went to the note to read it aloud.

Dear Dad and Mother,
Remy and I have gone to see Charles and Gideon, if for some reason we do not return please know you will see us again one day, some day. Forgive me for taking Remy away from you now. Forgive me for everything you think I have done to you. I forgive both of you and deep down I truly love you, I always have.
~Windy

“She gave her wormwood?! Oh no no no…” Gemma was inconsolable.
Earl quickly went to the spare room and saw Windy’s lifeless body on the bed. Tears came against his will, and he rushed to her side to take her cold hand. “I love you too Windy Rae,” he sobbed. “Be at peace girl, be at peace.”

Windy looked over to Remy, “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. This is your reality now, here with us.”
“I love you all,” Remy announced, “I know we will be together again, one day…all of us, Grandpa Earl and Grandma Gem, they will be here too, one day…”

Remy stepped out of the circle, and looked back over the meadow, “And one day I will come back, but not today. I’m sorry they still need me.”
Remy began to run across the meadow back toward the railroad track.

Grandma Gem had her face in her hands, she was still shaking and crying, then Remy stirred, she opened her eyes and she reached out and took Gemma’s hand. “It’s okay Grandma, I’m still here.”
“Oh my God Remy, you scared me.”

Suddenly Remy saw her Grandmother, not as the imposing tower of strength she had been, but as a fearful child. A frightened little girl, who did not know how to express love, or hurt or pain.
Earl returned shaken, but hurried to Remy’s side, “Oh Thank God you’re still with us.”

“I’m still here,” Remy smiled. “I will always be with you.”

The End

*Remy Jean Strong lived a long long life…

Windy, Gideon, Charles and Ursula became Remy’s watchful guardians for all eternity.

Photo by Kindra Nikole